Moms and dads out there, what’s the biggest thing that’s changed about you since becoming a parent?
For me, it’s the footwear.
Until I got pregnant, I always wore heels.
Some people cover their gray—I make myself taller. A good pair of heels can hoist this barely 5’2” frame up to a solid 5’6”, or from Snooki to J Woww. That’s an improvement, right?
I never wore flats. Even my flip flops had heels. If you think I’m exaggerating, I have two stories to tell you:
Shoe Story #1
In my dating days, I met a rather tall man, maybe 6’4”, at a party when I was of course wearing sky-high heels. He asked me out and suggested hiking. I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t game, so I agreed, but footwear was a huge issue. I couldn’t just show up in running shoes. At my real height, I’d come up to his bellybutton. So I strapped on a pair of high heeled sneakers.
Halfway up the mountain, my heel – certainly not intended for off-roading – snapped, sending me flying. I wound up with a bloody knee, a broken shoe and incurable embarrassment. Plus, I had to hop back down the mountain. Shoe story.
Shoe Story #2
My first job after college was at an advertising agency in New York. I had to wear business attire, but I strove to create day-into-night looks so I could go out after work without changing. To that end, I found this fantastic pair of black platform mules that looked appropriate for the office yet cute enough for cocktails.
One night I stumbled out of a bar in my new mules, tripped on a manhole cover, fell out of my shoe and fractured my foot in three places. The worst part wasn’t spending a hot summer in New York on crutches. It was making myself throw away those beautiful shoes. I felt like I was euthanizing a pet. Shoe story.
Given my sketchy track record in heels, once I had a baby to carry, I took the responsible route and stuck to flats. And I found out something I never knew, all these years. They’re really comfortable. And they don’t give you blisters. And you hardly ever fall. But still. I miss my heels.
I decided to visit them at the top of my closet, where they are gathering dust. Do you want to see?
Actual Manolos, found miraculously in a consignment shop in my size. Angels sang.
Marc Jacobs peach suede platforms, fought for at the Barney’s Warehouse Sale back when I was single, had a job, and couldn’t imagine ever not being single and not having a job.
Betsey Johnson stilettos that really hurt but made me feel like Carrie Bradshaw. Won’t Viv love playing dress up with these?
Yves St. Laurent flower shoes, handed down from my shoe-loving aunt whose feet actually grew when she turned 60.
Steve Madden monster platform boots, worn to every rock concert—my only shot at seeing the band. Plus they’re awesome.
Now that I’m a mom to a 1-year-old, my look can be summed up here:
Uggs, Converse and shower shoes. Ugg indeed.
There have to be more fashionable options in the flat and safe zone. If you know something about looking good while not wearing heels, please, I beg of you, leave a comment below. I need help. Shoe story.