Now that my older daughter’s four, she’s big enough to do chores and take responsibility for her own messes—or so I thought. Let’s just say my attempts to get her to clean up after herself have not been so successful. Even when I sing that catchy little song, “Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere/Clean up, clean up, everybody do their share”—I’m the only one doing my share. My share is 100%.
Here’s what my kid does when she doesn’t want to clean up, which is always:
1. Negotiates: “Can I keep playing and then I’ll clean up after dinner?” No. Unless I’m just too tired to argue and then yes.
2. Stalls: “Wait, I just have to finish building these five different towers.” Sometimes I fall for this, because, you know, creative expression.
3. Turns the tables: “It’s your mess, you clean it up.” This is patently false as well as disrespectful, but you have to admire the gumption.
4. Ignores me completely. Either I am mute or she is deaf. Or perhaps I’ve started speaking in tongues.
5. Distracts from the issue: “Mom, I’m really hungry.” No way. Then I’ll have a snack to clean up too.
6. Wanders away. Now you see her… now she’s in her room making a brand new giant mess.
7. Goes on the defensive: “Mommy, you always interrupt me when I’m playing.” That’s true, because she never stops playing.
8. Goes on the offensive: “You’re not my friend anymore!!!” Oh well.
Keep reading at mom.me…..
Ha! I can sooooo relate. I remember when my 6 yr old was around 3 or so (and I had another babe in arms at the same time… ugh & oh, my! you’re in that part now too, right?) and I had just HAD IT. I was steaming mad and I threatened to put her toys up on top of the TV cabinet for a whole week! Nonplussed, she thanked me. I was SO PISSED at her response. When I calmed down I realized that she hadn’t really understood what I meant. She thought I was “threatening” to clean up after her! OMG, so funny.
On the bright side: my two girls (ages 4 & 6) are so well trained now (after years of me pulling my hair out with this exact issue) that they now clean up on their own 90% of the time -with no nagging on my part, no “deal-making” on theirs, etc. In fact, my 4 and a half year old recently had one mom’s jaw dropping over her calm, nonplussed manner as she quietly cleaned up each item AS THEY PLAYED throughout the day. She was at this friend’s house for over 5 hours and the mom was stunned at my daughter’s behavior. I was so proud! (So there’s hope.)
Hi!! Okay, you’ve got to share your secret — how did train them? I’m having no success and need a plan of action.
These are hilarious and sadly all too relatable Amy lol. I totally fall for the creative expression and expanding the mind when they’re playing or reading.
Thanks Nina! I think I just have to accept that cleaning up is not going to be my parenting forte (but what is??)