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You know how when your gas tank’s almost empty, you’re supposed to turn off the A/C and the radio while you cruise to the nearest filling station so you don’t waste fuel? That’s a great analogy for how I feel as a mom to an infant. I’m technically awake, but most of my higher functions are powered down to conserve my strength, and I’m running on fumes. Which is why I can’t remember your name. Or my name. Or where I left my purse.

Here are 20 other signs of the utter sleep deprivation moms of new babies experience:

1. You could easily fall asleep right after downing a venti macchiato (if anyone would let you.)

2. You left your cell phone in the refrigerator and don’t even realize it until later when you call yourself and the milk is ringing.

3. Someone took a candid photo of you and you’re like, “Who’s that old hag with the horrible posture?” P.S. It’s you.

4. You finally understand how it is that horses can fall asleep standing up.

5. You can yawn the alphabet.

6. It’s raining polka-dots. Oh wait, no, you’re just seeing spots from rubbing your eyes so much.

7. You’ve knocked your coffee over onto your keyboard so often that you’re on a first name basis with the folks at the Genius Bar.

Don’t fall alseep yet…continue reading at

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