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Dear Husband,

I’m not trying to pick a fight, but there’s something you’ve been doing for a while now that really gets on my nerves, so I need to say something…

You’ve been getting hotter.

And it’s a problem.

When we first got together seven years ago, you and I were roughly equal on the attractiveness scale. If anything, I had the edge because I’d already perfected my “style.” (You needed a wife, a.k.a. me, to do that for you.)

Now that we’re both in our 40s, I’ve noticed an alarming trend. My looks are gradually fading, and yours, well, aren’t. In fact, you seem to be getting more attractive.

For example, you’ve been adding a few gray hairs to your otherwise dark, wavy mane, and they are literally the perfect salt to your pepper. Like, Patrick Dempsey and George Clooney wish they knew your hair secret. Me, I’m at the salon every 10 weeks desperately tinting and highlighting. Nobody wants to see the dishwater situation I’d be working if I let my hair go au natural.

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