To those who voted for Carriage Before Marriage in the Circle of Moms Top 25 blog contest, thank you so much. The exposure has been amazing. Finally, there are people who I have not lived with, slept with or split a pizza with reading the blog. I have fans. And what better place to answer their mail than right here on the blog?
Let’s start with this post on the Carriage Before Marriage Facebook page, under one of my many solicitations to vote in the Circle of Moms contest:
“what a great ‘role model’ you are! I will vote for everyone 10,000 times before I give you a single vote.”
Dear Fan, if you’ve found a way to vote 10,000 times, can you let me in on it? It would really help me in next year’s contest, for then I wouldn’t have to harass everyone over Facebook all the time. Thanks for your help.
I also found this comment under the Today Moms article that quoted my blog.
“no matter what you tell yourself…you are just his ‘baby mama’ on her back.”
Dear Fan, as an exhausted mom to a one-year-old, I would kill for some down time on my back. While I am a baby mama, I always seem to be on my feet. What am I doing wrong? Wait, don’t answer that.
Then there was this comment I received on a blog post:
“good morals is not having (and bragging) about kids before you get married.”
Dear Fan, did I seem like I was bragging? So far I’ve confessed to being an out of shape, online shopping-addicted thief who is clueless about wedding planning and jealous that my daughter only walks for daddy. As for good morals, well, tolerance is a nice start.
To my other fans, if you’ve been reading the blog, then you know that Carriage Before Marriage is not a political platform. I am not trying to convert others to my way of life. (And if I was, how would I do it? Stand outside chapels and courthouses with a bottle of wine and some lube murmuring, “Psst, hey there nice couple. Before you take that long walk down the aisle, why not get pregnant first?”)
I chose to blog as Carriage Before Marriage because I’m experiencing an unusual and special time in my life that I knew would be fun to document. Plus, when entering into the competitive world of mommy blogging, you’ve gotta have a niche, and People I Want to Punch in the Throat was taken.
Frankly, I was surprised that my marital status bothered anyone who didn’t know me. But as one of the commenters on the Today Moms piece explained:
“One day they [women who practice carriage before marriage] will realize that they are dragging us women down into the mud, making it impossible for good clean traditional women to even find a guy, cuz hey, why marry when I can do this girl and not commit. Must be heaven for guys these days.”
I have some sympathy for her plight. If your best chance at getting a commitment is peer pressure, then yeah, it would suck if other women aren’t holding up their part of the group pact.
But ladies out there of the good clean traditional variety, in all sincerity, we should be celebrating living in a day and age when we have choices. I’m grateful that a modern woman can select the partner she most loves, enjoys and respects, rather than entering into an arrangement based mainly on financial security and social status. It wasn’t that long ago that our dads were paying dowries to unload us onto our grooms. Surely it is better to enter into marriage freely and at our own pace. This is mine.
I case you haven’t figured it out, I am one of Amy’s parents (not telling which, you’re on your own there Sherlock). I am INTENSELY proud of Amy, and I like the way she has managed her life. At an age where giving birth to a healthy baby is not an absolute certainty, she chose proof of concept to come first before locking down the man she loves and forcing the risk on him as well.
Oh, Amy. I’m so sorry that people with bad grammar are chiding you for having bad morals. Rule-breakers are scary. Luckily for us, you’re scary AND funny.
Great piece, Amy. Illegitimi non carborundum.
I love that people are so ignorant. What a great post! You are doing things perfectly for your family. Those commenters clearly haven’t met you all.
RFLOLRFLOLRFLOL! This post deserves 10,000 more votes alone : D
OK so I found everyones negative comments truly hilarious. My favorite is the woman that thinks a man would rather just knock someone up without committing! Seriously? Because having a child with someone you don’t want to be with is not a commitment. Luckily I know you and your husband, you are as in love and happy as any married couple I know (if not more.) I love that you have done things in the order that works best for you. As a working woman who found their true love later in life (not in your 20’s) you knew that having a baby now was a smart plan. Girl you are doing everything right!
Keep it up sister!
Laura
If she believes in the prerequisite of that pledge of commitment (marriage license), why doesn’t she stop splashing around in the mud and go fight for the right of gays to get that piece of paper. It sounds like your fans need to find positive outlets for their energies.
Keep up the good work. It’s hard putting yourself out there!
I think you should tell people that you are a GAY single baby mama and see what happens. And you should probably tell everyone that you are racial minority, too. I don’t know if it matter which one. Oh! And you should TOTALLY be MUSLIM! NOW you have blog fodder!
Congrats #9!
Be honest, Amy. Did you make these comments up? I am DYING laughing! These fans just baked some truly hilarious cakes, and you frosted them with your hysterical responses. Awesome post.
This is a FABULOUS post!
Can I tell you that I cried & laughed? (B/c of my similar situation I suppose.) Ignorant folks like that I would love to punch in the throat! Keep up the awesome job you are doing… I’m totally posting this to my FB wall.
Thanks for reposting!
You should always do what is right for your family, in what ever order works. Those haters should leave the judgements up to The Big Guy, unless of course you wear Zubaz Pants, in that case, we are all judging you and most likely pointing too!
Almost spit my coffee on my desk (and we are having professional photo day at work today, so that would not have been great) – laughing at this post. I am glad you have a positive sense of humor to roll with those crazy comments and are willing to share. I like the blogger mamas like you who put yourself out there without over-worrying about who might see or be offended.
I have been reading since blog 1 and still quote the “dave thomas?” to my friends because I can completely relate being a fellow unwed-but completely committed to my baby daddy-mother. Keep it up girl!
Katie, love to meet more ladies in the club! Thanks for quoting me…makes my day.
Thanks for the laugh! Some people can be so judgmental against others. I’m in a relationship with a man 25 years older than me, and I’ve gotten so many snarky and mean comments from lots of different people (and I’ve been with him for over a year now). I’ve been called a gold digger (even though I have as much money in savings as he does, thanks to his ex) and a tramp for “stealing” him away from his ex when I didn’t even meet him till after his divorce was finalized.
I’ve found, however, that those who call me those names are most afraid of having some young thing come and steal their man away. It’s my theory that those who give the harshest judgment are the ones that have the most fear.
I’m definitely gonna follow your blog! I love your writing style!
Have a great day!
Thanks Katy! Please do subscribe.
I live in GA and had the audacity to be 28 weeks pregnant at my wedding…but fortunately, our families were so firmly behind us that no one dared to make a comment. God bless you, and your family.
Glad to hear it! It really helps when your families have their priorities in the right place. Thank you for your kind words.