Quick note: A big welcome to fans of Rowdy Sprout who just found my blog. (Anyone interested in entering the Rowdy Sprout giveaway – you still have one more day! The winner will be announced later this week.) And now, here’s a preview of a new post that’s appearing on mom.me today:
Beleaguered moms are fond of pointing out that they wear a lot of hats: cook, chauffeur, maid, nanny and more. Certainly, as a mother to a toddler, I have many jobs, but since I’m performing all of them simultaneously, I’m really half-assing most of them.
Here’s why if I were getting paid for any of my “jobs,” I’d be fired in a heartbeat:
Cook: After three years of catering to the tastes of my “client,” my menu planning is limited to “foods that are orange,” “foods that can be eaten without a fork in the car,” and “foods that take less than 5 minutes to prepare when a meltdown is looming.” A dinner party is above my pay grade.
Chauffeur: I do have tons of driving experience, but my “limo” is covered in cracker crumbs, smells like wet socks and has a car stereo that only plays Disney music and the occasional Katy Perry song.
Maid: Multitasker that I am, my method of cleaning usually involves pushing around a wet paper towel with my foot. This leaves my hands free for ripping out my hair while I yell, “Who knocked over this jar of honey?”
Nanny: There are things I’d expect of any babysitter I hire that I never manage to achieve myself. These include brushing my daughter’s hair, getting her to bed on time, and playing on the floor without ever popping up to check Facebook. I am way too scattered to be anyone’s actual nanny.
Nurse: My entire first aid kit consists of Aquaphor and Band-aids. If your ailment cannot be cured with Aquaphor and Band-aids, please call 9-1-1.
Continue reading at mom.me. Thanks!