In case you missed it, I wrote a piece last week about Amal Alamuddin taking George Clooney’s last name when they married. In the article, I said I was disappointed that such a professionally accomplished woman would choose to follow what I consider to be an outdated tradition.

My Carriage Before Marriage Facebook community in turn let me HAVE IT, calling me anti-feminist for judging another woman’s choice.

Image via Daily Revolution

It truly never occurred to me that when I called out Amal Alamuddin, I was insulting the many, many women out there who happily chose to take their husbands’ names. The last thing I meant to do was disrespect my own readers, whom I value so much. (Without readers, a blog is just that falling tree in the forest that makes no sound.)

What a whole bunch of you pointed out to me is that you wanted to change your names. You like sharing a name with your husbands and children. It announces your unity and commitment to the world. The name change itself doesn’t have to be a big deal. Accomplishments don’t disappear when you change your name. Plus, a new name can offer a fresh start, particularly if you never liked your maiden name.

Personally, I would feel more comfortable with name changing if it was a 50/50 proposition, with an equal likelihood that a man would take his wife’s name.  (Props to Jay-Z for changing his legal name to Shawn Knowles-Carter.)  Yet even if the world worked that way, I’d probably still keep my name.  I’m not famous, but I identify with those female actors, musicians and authors who believe their names are too essential to change.  (And we know I have non-traditional views anyway, what with me waiting 3+ years to marry my baby daddy.)

Going forward, I will think twice before I stomp on other women’s choices. I certainly would never attack another mom for formula or breastfeeding, sleep training or attachment parenting, working full time or staying at home, or any of the many “controversial” choices we all make all the time that are really nobody’s business.  I am glad that changing names is a choice women have.  Choice is power.

Thanks for being honest with me.