It was a big day in a mom’s life, so I decided to dust off my blog. Thank you for reading it!

As of this morning, I have two kids attending school: a first grader and a preschooler. I’m used to my big girl being at school by now, but I have mixed feelings about letting the second one out of my sight.  Two-year-olds are exhausting but they are also the cutest thing the entire universe has to offer, even better than baby seals. Whenever my two-year-old asks to touch my computer, she says “compooter,” and then I faint from the cuteness. (She also pronounces all the colors perfectly except yellow, which comes out “lellow.” Never change!)

So after dropping off my preschooler, I had a brief moment of melancholy, and then I remembered–now I have two hours every morning to do anything I want! And a few things I don’t want, like long overdue household projects. But this is huge, right?

Since today was the first day of the rest of my life, I headed straight to the gym. It took me a while to find it, because I NEVER go, but that’s all about to change, baby. I’m going to be a lean, mean, mama machine.

My first stop was the ab cruncher torture device thingie–gotta work on that six pack–and everything was going great until I noticed a big glob of mud next to my foot, smeared on the normally pristine equipment. Confused, I checked the sole of my sneaker and discovered a huge wad of definitely not mud but stinky, disgusting dog poop. I felt horrible. It’s one thing to get sand all over the mats (I’m always tracking it in from the playground), but dog poop is pretty unforgivable.

Could I run out the door and never come back? (I’d have so much more time for those household projects!) No. I had to face this like the quasi adult that I am. I snuck my vile sneaker into the locker room and attacked it with wet paper towels, causing a shower of dog crap to rain down onto the shiny, white tiles where ladies walk both barefoot and naked. This was not going well.

By some miracle, the woman who cleans the gym popped out of her supply closet at that moment and decided to rescue me. She grabbed my sneaker and used some of that industrial grade bleach on it. (Note to self: buy some for home.) Then I sheepishly took her on a tour of all the places I’d inadvertently defiled since arriving. At each stop, she sprayed and cleared the little shards of dog crap I’d left behind. This wasn’t embarrassing at all!

Afterwards, I half-assed it around the gym for roughly 15 minutes so I wouldn’t look crazy to the girl at the front desk who had so recently checked me in.  It was not much of a workout, unless you count the facial exertion of grimacing.

It is ironic that my first day out unencumbered by a toddler, I actually functioned worse in the world. I can’t wait to see what happens tomorrow!