My dearest family, you have it easy this year. Due to the coronavirus quarantine, Mom will not be dragging you to an arboretum, high tea or fancy brunch for Mother’s Day. I will not be forcing you to wear cute matching outfits and take photos for my Instagram. I don’t need flowers or gifts.
But you’re not entirely off the hook.
There are a few things I want dearly, and I have faith that you can make them happen for me. So, darlings, here’s what Mommy truly desires on her special day, quarantine edition:
1. No cooking. I don’t care if we eat Goldfish crackers on the floor as long as I do not have to go into the kitchen. Let’s just seal off the entrance with caution tape to be safe.
2. I do not want to tidy, straighten, sweep, vacuum, wash or scrub anything. There should be no reason for me to bend over, period.
3. To wear noise-canceling headphones the entire day, including when I’m in the bathtub, like a DIY sensory deprivation tank. Children, on this one magical day, you should be seen but not heard. And also maybe not seen, except in pictures when I’m scrolling my phone and thinking about how cute you are.
4. For my husband to be 100% in charge of breaking up fights, finding lost toys and marker caps, providing snacks (and second dinners), getting juice out of the carpet and wiping tushies. Good luck!
5. To watch an R-rated movie with all the F-bombs. I love you Disney+, but I need to see other channels.
Continue reading at Mommy Nearest…
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