Blog
8 Things Not To Say To Someone Trying To Conceive
I'm not technically infertile, just over the hill. If you saw me in good lighting, you might mistake me for 35, but you know what they say: you’re only as old as your ovaries. And those biatches are past 40. Can they still produce a sibling for my daughter? Time will...
Why We’re Not Going To Videotape Our Wedding (Probably)
Dave is super easy going about the wedding planning. Usually we’re in sync, and if we’re not, he’ll defer to Bridezilla. Except on this one issue: No video. He’s putting his foot down. “I want to experience our wedding, not record it.” He tells me. He's thought...
Handing Down The Hand-Me-Downs
When I was pregnant with Viv, we got a lot of thoughtful gifts, but my favorites were the boxes of hand-me-down clothes from mommy friends who had been there before me. Sorting through those cartons was Christmas morning level exciting. Adorable playsuits, girlie...
My Fantasy Sister-Wife
We live in a rent-controlled apartment in a McMansion neighborhood, so the local moms out-fancy me by a mile. I mean, these moms are Lululemon gear-sporting, Porsche Cayenne-driving, blinding bling-wearing, "I just got back from Canyon Ranch and barely have time to...
My Crack Is Showing, Butt It’s Not My Fault
“Honey, I love you, but are you aware that your ass crack is showing?” Dave asks me this while we’re reading bedtime stories to our toddler. I hardly think my state of dress or undress matters in the nursery, so I give him a look like, “So?” “No, I mean pretty much...
Beauty Advice For Teen Girls From THE FUTURE
If I could go back in a time machine, this is the beauty advice I’d give to my clueless teen self. Until that technology is perfected, all I can do is share my hard won wisdom with the teens of today. It’s meant with love. 1. Cover Your Face – Girls, I understand...
Quiz: What Kind of Bride Am I? (And $100 Reeds Jewelers Gift Card Giveaway!)
Here's a quiz I found in one of my bridal magazines: What Kind of Bride Are You? 1. How would you describe your look? A. Flirty and feminineB. Sleek and contemporaryC. Yoga pants and a dark t-shirt with food on it 2. What kind of lingerie would you love to wear...
The Terrorist Two’s
All of a sudden, my sweet baby girl is so willful, so stubborn, so dramatic and so irrational, I feel like I'm under siege. I griped to Dave, “How on earth did she get like this?” Cue raised eyebrows and pointed stare in my direction. Okay, fine, so these traits are...
Escape From Baby Jail
We’d heard about rogue toddlers climbing out of their cribs, and we were ready. I’d already witnessed our little David Blaine working in reverse. She scaled the outside of her crib and flung her body onto the mattress below, trapping herself like a lost pet hamster...