Blog
Rethinking “Vacation”
This Thanksgiving, we got out of town, driving down to Laguna Beach with Grandma and my brother and sister-in-law--Viv's adored Uncle Jordan and Aunt Lana. Look at them, all relaxed and well-rested, wearing designer sunglasses without fear. Yeah, they don’t have kids...
Wedding Dress Success?
While Dave and I try to conceive a sibling for Viv, we are half-assedly planning our 2014 wedding. Though both of us are super excited for the big day, as parents of a toddler we are way too tired and distracted to actually arrange anything. (Advantage: Marriage...
Be Fruitful and Multiply?
Oh my God, you guys. After our first cycle of IVF didn't take, Dr. Rosenpenis made us come in for a post-mortem to discuss what went wrong. I was trying to hang onto my optimism, and the last thing I needed was more insane analogies. Do I even need to tell you what...
Twitter Me This, Batman
Are you following me on Twitter @Cb4M? I’d almost rather you didn’t. If the blog is my HBO special, then Twitter is the hole-in-the-wall comedy club where I drop by for open mic night. I try stuff out on Twitter. Very little of it makes my act. So rather than...
Am I Being Acu-Punked?
Do you want to see something disgusting? No? Aw come on. This is the “tea” that my acupuncture doctor wants me to drink twice a day to help me get pregnant. It looks like swamp mud. It smells like someone pooped poison mushrooms. When I confess to her that I just...
10 Jobs for Dads in the Delivery Room
Here's my latest article for What To Expect... You've grown a tiny human in your belly for nine months and you're about to give birth. As a mom-to-be, your role in this whole baby-making adventure is clear. What's less obvious is how your partner can best support you...
Rules That Were Made to Be Broken (On Halloween)
Never take candy from strangers. No running in the street. Don't feed the animals. No trespassing. We keep our hands to ourselves. Happy Opposite Day from Carriage Before Marriage.
Back Off, Stay-at-Home Dads
Sometimes when I see stay-at-home dads being all competent and relaxed, hoisting their toddlers one-handed while making realistic elephant sounds, I feel a little threatened. Outwardly, I’m supportive and feminist. Inside, I’m more like Kit De Luca in Pretty Woman...
Balloothenasia
My friend Jen, clever mother of two, sent me helium balloons on my birthday because she knew how much Viv would enjoy playing with them. I don't know what kind of crazy advances they've made in Mylar lately but this one hung on for five weeks, floating around at knee...