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The Two Week Wait

The Two Week Wait

Fertility world is ruled by acronyms.  TTC = Trying to Conceive.  AF = Aunt Flo.  BFP = Big Fat Positive (as in pregnancy test). And of course, IVF = It’s Very Frustrating. There are hormone pills and headaches, injections and bruising, mood swings and tears, constant...
Goodbye, Lover

Goodbye, Lover

My longest relationship just ended. It’s the one I had with my car. We first hooked up in 1998 when I was planning a move from New York to Los Angeles and my father generously handed down his 1992 Volvo 240.  There was only one problem: I didn’t know how to drive. A...
Be Fruitful and Multiply?

Be Fruitful and Multiply?

Oh my God, you guys. After our first cycle of IVF didn’t take, Dr. Rosenpenis made us come in for a post-mortem to discuss what went wrong.  I was trying to hang onto my optimism, and the last thing I needed was more insane analogies. Do I even need to tell you...
Am I Being Acu-Punked?

Am I Being Acu-Punked?

Do you want to see something disgusting? No? Aw come on. This is the “tea” that my acupuncture doctor wants me to drink twice a day to help me get pregnant.   It looks like swamp mud.  It smells like someone pooped poison mushrooms. When I confess to her that I just...

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